Monday, August 18, 2008

Between Two Worlds

You know... sometimes I truly feel like I've gone barking mad. God keeps stripping things from me. Anything that keeps me from Him has to go and I am embracing this. Every now and then when I whine, Tim says "are you bleeding yet?". *sigh*

Dr. Roger Skepple did a series of classes on Propitiation and gave this amazing explanation of what happens when God saves a man. He explains how prior to regeneration you have the inner man (spirit)and the outer man (flesh) conspiring, participating and reveling in sin. When God takes that heart of stone and converts it to a heart of flesh, all things become new. The inner man has been crucified and the Holy Spirit sets up shop. We still have to contend with the outer man saying "Hey... THAT looks like fun!" and where the inner man used to say, "Sure! Have at it... " the new creation not only says, "No" but "No and how COULD you possibly entertain such a thought, you vile, wretched sinner, don't you understand who we are now?" Eek.

So, all that to say we have wheeled the big tv-idol out of the living room. Neither of us can longer watch the things that God hates. Do you realize how difficult this is? Wow, it really makes me understand how much I use crutches to make myself feel better rather than turning to God. Why do I do that? I mean, I guess it's because of this inner/outer struggle.

My inner self is totally thrilled and happy with this decision, but my flesh is screaming NOOOOOOOOOO.... not THAT! You took away all the other fun things and now THIS?! Really?! And so I deal with the lies my flesh is telling myself like, "Oh, you're just a legalist.. " "It's really not that bad" "Everyone watches tv"

God is removing all that is not Jenny... to make me more like Him. What a mighty Lord we serve, what a loving all-powerful God we have. Do you realize we were created to glorify God? Anything we do that is contrary to that end is not who we are. He's merely trying to show us why we were created and thusly what will bring us the most joy in fulfilling our purpose.

This is my story... this is my song, praising my savior all day long.

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